Saturday, July 18, 2009


I just got back from an evening with my sisters. We went to see My Sister's Keeper and then to the Lone Star for the best fajitas in the world. I'm completely serious. There are not close to enough Lone Star restaurants in Ontario, and I had to drive an hour to get to this one. But always well worth it.

The movie itself was okay. That's not to say we didn't shed quite a few tears. The story itself is very sad, and raises a lot of interesting emotional and ethical issues. But the film was disjointed, and I didn't feel like we really got to see much character development or real interaction between the characters.

In fact, one of the most real scenes was a throw-away one in which aunts and uncles visit the very sick girl. She rarely sees these relatives, and yet they gather around her deathbed eating pizza and making ridiculous statements like (paraphrased): "Here is a book of healing meditations that I am sure will help you." "I saw a woman on a talk show who just told her cancer to get out! Go away! And strangely enough, it worked." "Promise me you won't give up."

It was easy for us to picture some of our family members in this role, showing up for an obligatory visit with an awkward hug and cliched words of encouragement.

Apart from the movie, and even the delicious fajitas, it was just good to spend time with my sisters. And it made me realize (even more) that this is something I want for my daughter.

When I think about having another child, I often think about it in terms of myself. Anxiety about how pregnancy and breastfeeding will take over my body, worry about how I will ever learn to manage two small people, abject fear over making it through the long sleepless night known as the first three months of infancy.

But it is different when I consider the issue from Will's perspective. I think about how valuable it would be for her to have someone to share this particular experience of growing up, this family. Someone who can be her ally against me (sniff) and her father. Someone who understands where she came from because he or she came from the same place.

Give her the chance to be someone's sister.

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